Are You Headed for Divorce?
Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Whether it was a quick elopement or a well-planned wedding before an audience of family and friends, no one says I do with the intention of splitting down the road. So why do so many couples regret the decision to marry?
The fact of the matter is, nearly half of all marriages in this country wind up in divorce.
- Nearly 4 in 10 first marriages fail;
- 6 in 10 second marriages end in divorce;
- More than 7 in 10 third marriages don’t last.
What Factors Impact Divorce
The numbers are pretty gruesome, to be sure. What is the key to a successful marriage, and what factors indicate doom is on the horizon? Social scientists actually have some ideas:
- The age at which you marry: Most people understand that teen weddings are risky due to the couple’s youth and lack of life experience. But additional research reveals that getting married in the 30s brings an additional risk of divorce to the tune of five percent per year beyond age 32. And here’s something else to think about: the age gap between spouses. While a one-year age difference correlates to a three percent risk, a 5-year difference makes divorce 18 percent more probable, and a 10-year spread results in a 39 percent greater chance for divorce.
- Lower education levels: While three in ten marriages between college graduates wind up in divorce, the number for high school dropouts is greater than five in ten. Sociologists muse that perhaps lower incomes and money troubles are at the root of these statistics.
- Poor communication skills: While disagreements are to be expected in any relationship, the way couples communicate can kill a marriage in no time. Specific behaviors linked to divorce include:
- Acting superior: showing feelings of contempt, including eye-rolling, name-calling, and other deprecating behaviors can be the “kiss of death” for any relationship;
- Constant criticism: When criticism becomes a way to define a partner’s character, it becomes demeaning and hurtful;
- Protecting oneself: If one partner is always playing defense, it’s virtually impossible to solve problems together. Victimhood is not a healthy position for anyone.
- Stonewalling: When one partner refuses to discuss difficult topics, it leads to frustration and anger. Additionally, problems never get addressed.
Husbands’ Employment Status
While wives’ employment or lack thereof did not impact marriage stability, research indicates that when husbands do not work full-time, divorce rates go up. And here’s the kicker: these divorces are not connected to financial duress. Instead, scientists believe marital discord in these circumstances is a result of stereotypes around males being the family breadwinners.
Statistics are simply numbers, and by no means does research on divorce doom your marriage to failure. After all, more than a few marriages succeed despite factors that might make divorce seem inevitable. And plenty of marriages that seem to meet all the criteria pointing to forever bliss crash and burn.
Whatever the facts behind your wedding day, if divorce is something you are currently contemplating, the experienced team at the office of Derek L. Hall, PC, The Heavy Hitter, is ready to help. Contact our heavy hitting team in Jackson for a free, confidential consultation today.