Why Stay Together if You’re Unhappy?
Many of us know couples who are miserable in their marriages. Researchers report that when couples stick it out despite their unhappiness, it’s generally because they believe things will get better later in the marriage. Once he gets that job, or when we finally have kids, or if we eventually get into our own home—these are all markers that couples look toward in the hope for marital satisfaction. But what if your marital melancholy is a result of who you both are, not where you are in your life right now? Maybe consulting with a local divorce attorney is the way to find the happiness you crave in your life.
What Leads to Marital Discord?
There are all sorts of problems that plague marriages, not the least of which include everyday complaints about the way the marriage feels. While abusive or cheating spouses are definitely worth escaping, some people fear that divorcing a partner who is otherwise a nice person is out of bounds. Nonetheless, it’s worth considering a change in circumstances if you are experiencing significant issues with some painful situations:
- Losing your sense of self: If you’ve been part of a codependent relationship, and suddenly realize you’ve lost sight of your own identity, it can be a rude awakening. If you’re finding you don’t know your favorite music genre or restaurants as well as you know your spouse’s preferences, you may experience some disillusionment, resentment, or emptiness.
- On the other hand, if you find you have nothing in common, do not share any hobbies or passions, and live separate lives for the most part, you may find yourself wallowing in the same feelings of dissatisfaction and bitterness.
- What if you have essentially pleasant interactions with your spouse, but a complete void of physical connection? Beyond living without sex, are you living without reassuring nudges, warm hugs, and tender kisses in greeting? If so, how does it make you feel?
- A lack of celebration: Did your spouse respond with indifference when you met your weight goal? When you got a raise, did your partner spend it without so much as a congratulations? Failing to experience joy together when things go well can be a sign that there are deeper issues with the relationship.
- Spending philosophy: Are you a saver who’s married to someone who spends frivolously? When couples don’t see eye to eye when it comes to the checkbook, it can be a huge source of stress and argument.
- Fighting unfairly: Does your partner “hit below the belt” in an argument? Withdraw and sulk? Overpower you and try to win at all costs? If one person is always the winner, it means the other is always the loser. And that doesn’t make for a strong relationship.
Everyone Deserves Happiness
If you feel trapped in an unhappy marriage that’s showing no signs of improvement, perhaps you’ve considered divorce. In that case, a free consultation with the hard-hitting legal team at the office of Derek L. Hall, PLLC may be just what you’re looking for. Contact our Jackson office today.